hellufacade | IC Inbox

Hmph. Plus that wily little bastard of a ... male miqo’te... Does he know, by the way; that you don’t love him back? So sad, really....

[He uncrosses and recrosses his arms. ]

Had you done it sooner, you likely would have been able to contain the light and we would have avoided that battle. Don’t you remember what I said? I wanted to avoid that violence. How disappointing. Did you even know that you could have taken his soul into you earlier?

Leave him out of this. [ Yenh says it in that soft but firm way that implies forcing the Exarch further into it will not be well-tolerated. ]

Neither Ardbert nor I had any idea of what was going on. The only way we knew we were the same soul was... because of Hythlodaeus.

[Hades looks as if he’s been struck when the name passes her lips. His voice comes out in a stunned whisper as he feels a numbing chill settle in his head.]

...What? You spoke to...

[His voice gains body again and pitches high and quick. ] Explain, at once!

[ That response is chilling for Yenh, albeit more for being out of the norm for him. She's careful and almost delicate when she speaks. ]

Amaurot, at the Bureau. He was there. He was aware of being only a shade, yet possessed enough of his wits to talk about... [ She hadn't really thought this far ahead. ] A bit about the three of us, I suppose. By the end of our short conversation, he marked Ardbert's presence and told us who we were to one another.

He could see the shade... [He eyes grow teary as he glances away.] His sight was always keener than mine, I suppose.

[Hades’ hands wind into his hair, grabbing for a moment before falling to his sides, heavy. ]

I didn’t know he was there. I would have... liked to speak with him. [Even if he wasn’t strictly real. ] I... Be more specific. What did he say about me? About you? God, is he still there?

[ Of all the things Yenh had intended for this conversation, destroying Emet-Selch with the mention of one word was not one of them. ]

[ She scrambles closer to the edge. ]

He... spoke at great length of your struggles. Your love of your your people and for Zodiark. He merely alluded to who I once was, and to our ancient friendships, yet he hardly seemed surprised to find me there. [ Yenh begins to extend a hand toward him, then freezes midway as she asks herself once again whether she should be comforting him. The answer is a grudging yes, and she lays her hand on top of his head. ]

Edited 2020-05-07 17:50 (UTC)

[ He seems shocked by the contact but he doesn’t shun it. His ears twitch. He looks up at her with bright, watering eyes.]

Oh, Hythlodaeus... my dearest... [He trails off, frowning. Damn. Damn, dammit. The flood gates had been cracked open and his flood of emotions long kept tamped and in check threatened to burst free. He steps closer and winds his arms around her as he places his head on her thigh, shielding his face from her as his shoulders shake. The recognition of his struggle hit hard coming from her, from him. Had he given himself space to mourn properly?

He felt stupid and pathetic and angry in this moment.]

[ So this is how it's gonna be, huh. Yenh swore to stop Emet-Selch one way or another, though it felt impossible that anything could change. Now a crack in the wall of inevitability has appeared. Not even he is impossible. ]

[ Sharing his experience of feeling stupid—albeit for very different reasons—both hands now caress in long gentle strokes through his hair and along his scalp. It is the same gesture she would pay to anyone grieving. ]

[ She doesn't bother saying a word. ]

[He cries until the tears stop coming so easily. Until he feels empty. His chest and his head hurts, his nose is stuffed. He realizes the folly only now of pressing his face into her leg. She would see him anyway. He’s clearly having some trouble breathing now, too. But the rub on his scalp is so nice... ]

[He shields his face from her as he turns and stalks towards the restroom, hands over his nose and jeans riding ... further... down his hips. He reappears several moments later looking lost. His face has been wiped clean of running make up, but his eyes and cheeks are still red. Ah yes, his make up is in his car. And he’d have to pass through here anyway. But he seems blank right now. He walks towards his seat as if in a trance and drinks whatever he had in his glass. He looks to her, wordless. He still looks like he had some crying left in him.]

...Now what?

[ She would be surprised if even that span of time for a cry would be adequate for him. She suspects her own would be a ceaseless flow. With the stakes what they've been, the time he takes to be even this presentable is feels perfectly within reason. ]

[ She spent a good portion of it in a meditative state, too afraid to hold onto any one thought for too long. Her own grief threatened find a way out through those precious normal moments hidden behind and around the losses and the victories. They slip by one by one, and time and again she refocuses on his trembling and the bases of his ears to settle down. ]

[ By the his relative recovery, the only thought she has left to think is the tragedy of having not said it sooner. His words return her back to the moment and to their shared reality here on Earth. ]

[ She considers his question, looking upon him in an odd blend of protective warmth and deep fearful uncertainty. ]

I... will start with an apology. That I did not tell you any sooner is a travesty. Nor how much the Scions, the Exarch, and I strive to... really remember what Amaurot was. Who your people were. Who you were. [ Yenh inclines her head. She finds it easier not to look at him. ] I understand it is too little, too late. Mayhap anything I say is an insult at this point, mayhap I deserve a degree of your wrath. But I respect you. I... [ What is there to be said? 'Sorry I killed you'? Yenh had no choice. She flounders against this sense of inadequacy. ] Wish it hadn't ended like that.

[He walks in a half circle around her— and this is becomes clear that he's just entering the stage. He walks up behind her, his dress shoe heels clicking against the wood. He stops and then gets down slowly, his actions reflecting his various aches and pains as he sits next to her.]

...I, too, wish it hadn't ended thus.

[He folds his bare hands together as his feet dangle over the stage. He gazes at them.]

Let us pretend for a moment that we are not prisoners of absurdity. What if there is a purpose for us to be here, meeting on these terms? What should we make of that?

[ Yenh exhales. ]

What, indeed. [ Yenh props her head up on her chin, gazing into the distance between them by way of their legs and feet. What he asks is at once incredibly simple and remarkably difficult to answer. ]

Without knowing the purpose, what I make of it is... we've now the opportunity to ask those questions together. Which is a better place than before.

[ She rubs the back of her neck. ]

Edited 2020-05-07 20:39 (UTC)

[He peers down as his tail comes to rest between them. It looks like it has had better days at this close distance.]

...To find another option. To begin anew. To speak and learn. To discover together, then. [His expression is unmistakably sad. His eyelashes are still dewy. He falls into meaningful silence before he takes a deep breath. He lets it out and squeezes his eyes shut as a new wave of his headache washes over him. His lips part a moment before he actually speaks.]

You can trust me. [He pulls his legs up towards his chin, winding his arms around them as he perches.] After all... I find myself no longer tempered.

[ She snaps her head to look over at him. Yenh opens her mouth, and then closes it again. This is one of those times she doesn't trust herself not to say something incredibly foolish and budding-relationship-ruining. ]

[ Her hand finds his head again, and she tangles it into his hair in a slow scritching motion. ]

What... No words for me? [His complaint is shallow, however. He leans into her touch until his head is on her shoulder and his legs are no longer pulled up to his chest. He lets his eyes fall closed.]

[And then a purr escapes his throat and his eyes shoot open. He sits up and away from her, a hand at his throat in confusion and embarrassment as he stares at her like she had something to do with it.]

[ She stares right back, hand still held aloft and frozen in position where his head just was. She stares at the hand, fingers curled, back to him, her hand, and then she lowers it slowly. ]

... that isn't... typical of miqo'te.

[His face burns with embarrassment as he stares at the ceiling for a moment. Of course this would happen.]

It isn't, is it. [He grimaces, wondering what to do next. The petting was nice, the purring is humiliating. He weighs his options. He doesn't look at her as he edges closer again, slowly laying his head on her again.]

As long as we're both in agreement that it's part of this curse and not... Some perverse little affectation of mine. [He grumbles as his shoulders come up. He makes himself comfortable as he sighs, feeling desperately sad about how clearly he needed the comforting. Even his own ego couldn't pry him from the spot.]

...Go on.

[ The desire to go run a few more laps rises in her. She leaves it alone. ]

R... right, yes, of course. In your shoes, I'd be purring too, no doubt. [ Feeling a measure of secondhand embarrassment, she simply resumes as though nothing had happened, grateful he is not angled to see her incredulity. It's all she can do to focus back in and actually comfort him with touch, though her brief struggle with distraction results in a finger stroking along his ear. ]

...Right.

[He loses control of the purring again, but just gives into it this time. Fuck it, he thinks. She’s seen worse from him by now. What’s one more badge of shame? He planned to by and large deny any and everything anyway. After a couple minutes his voice comes again.]

...A long, long time ago... The three of us would while away the days and nights in one another’s company. I’m not sure I appreciated it enough back then... But those days are the very sweetest of my memories. [ He presses a hand to his chest, feeling his own heartbeat.]

Edited 2020-05-07 22:14 (UTC)

Would that I could recall them, too.

[ It feels voyeuristic and exploitative to crave the intimacy between three strangers who lived thousands of years ago, even if she was once one of the three. The longing is so deep and dangerous that she feels she could drown if she walked too far down that path. ]

Would that I could recall what peace was like.

[ He grasps the back of her coat by the shoulders and sits still and quiet.]

...I sincerely hope that one day you will.

[The shape of his loneliness, vast and dense, weighs heavily in his breast. Unable to truly cope with its enormity, an understatement passes through his lips. ]

I miss them. And yet, I know only one way to honor them.

[ She tilts her head and gazes down at him, trepidation rising in her. For what, she does not know. ]

Only one?...

Yes. Out of habit, I suppose. ...Perhaps it is time to rethink a couple things. I can... hope. At least. [ He said as he felt his heart soften just the littlest bit.]

...Aren’t you lonely?

[ She sucks in a breath, bracing against a sudden flare of pain that rises with the unmourned ghosts of her own past. It would be hard to miss the weird tension her body takes on, though she makes no move to shrink from him. ]

Uh. Ah. L- lonely? Iii... don't normally... entertain those kinds of thoughts... [ It feels like she's calling to him from the bottom of a well. ]

[ He sits up straight (sort of) to look at her with a raised brow and a tilt to his head.]

Nonsense. Those are not feelings that we entertain like guests, but specters that come to us in the minutes or hours before sleep claims us.

[He lets go of her coat and just watches her. ]

Did I touch a nerve?

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